Angry Old Man Rant Mode!

Engage Old Man Rant Mode:

Yesterday I sold my left kidney so I could treat myself and go to the movies to see the new Naked Gun remake. After signing a Promissory Note, I was able to buy popcorn and a soda.

Unfortunately, the movie was pretty bad. I loved the original Naked Gun with Leslie Nielsen, so I knew the reboot might not compare.

It didn’t.

Lots of dead time, a plot stolen from The Kingsman, and a few good laughs.

The worst part of the movie was Chatty Cathy sitting next to me, explaining every joke to his wife, who I can only surmise had the IQ of an ice cube based on his explanations of EVERY JOKE IN THE MOVIE! Did he whisper them? He did not. He had the vocal volume of a man standing next to a 747 at takeoff.

I had fulfilled my part of the cinema social contract. I bought my ticket early, and chose a good seat. Somehow when Mr. Loudmouth was picking his ticket, he thought, “Hmm, the theater is mostly empty, where should I sit? Yeah, I’ll sit next to the old guy sitting by himself.”

Next time, I’ll just wait for the video to come out on Netflix.

Old Man Rant Mode disengaged… for now