Some Deep (And Not So Deep) Christmas Thoughts

A bird got loose in my house once. I tried everything to save that stupid bird. He flew away from me every time I got near him. He just didn’t understand that I was trying to help him, not hurt him. Eventually, he met his demise in an ugly meeting with one of my ceiling fan blades. He shuffled off this mortal coil never realizing that the fat guy with the sheet, laundry hamper and broom was just trying to save him from his own actions. That describes Christmas to me. The Son of God left the beauty of heaven and came down to earth to save me from my own bad decisions and make my life better than it could possibly be without him. He wants to do the same for you, and that baby in the manger is His way of showing you.

And now for my Top 10 Deep (and not so deep) Thoughts about Christmas:
1. Why do they call it mincemeat? There’s no meat in there. I’m not sure what it is, but it ain’t meat! I call false advertising!
2. Why do elves wear those goofy, pointy toed shoes? Seems like they would give you a bunion or something.
3. Why is Santa allowed to use the elves as slave labor? China has nothing on Santa.
4. What the heck is figgy pudding? And why are we demanding that someone bring it to us?
5. Who first looked at a glass of milk and said, “What this milk needs is some booze and eggs! We’ll call it egg nog. That way everybody will know how disgusting it is before they drink it…”
6. If your family letter includes boring stories of your kid’s accomplishments I won’t read it. Come to think of it, I won’t read your family letter anyway, boring stories or not.
7. Candy canes are delicious. No, really, they are delicious. Much better than egg nog or mincemeat pie.
8. I could not wrap gifts well if my life depended on it. Mr. gift-bag-inventor, you are my shining star at Christmas. This year I gave my wife 8 gifts, and all of them are in gift bags!
9. I don’t think the fish in my fish tank understand Christmas. I do wonder if they are watching the blinking lights right outside their watery home, though.
10. Christmas always makes me realize how differently God did things than I would have. Shepherds, we don’t need no stinkin’ shepherds. I would have plopped baby Jesus right smack in the middle of Herod’s palace and said, “How do you like them apples?” Yeah, it’s a good thing I’m not God!
This Christmas take some time to contemplate exactly what Christmas really is. Thankfully, it’s not figgy pudding or elves, it is Jesus. And He is enough.

Merry Christmas (no egg nog for me, please!) … Jerry

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