I have been thinking of “eraser phrases.” You know, the things we say when we need to undo something we have said or done. We all know them and even use them. As a service to my loyal readers (and all the rest of you, too) here is “Jerry Godsey’s Handy Dandy Eraser Phrase Guide:”
“Bless his heart.” You can say anything you want about someone as long as you begin the sentence by saying it. Like this, “Bless his heart, he’s dumber than a stump.” See, without the eraser phrase that’s downright mean, but with the eraser phrase it is somehow nicer.
“With all due respect.” This eraser phrase allows us to take a swipe at someone who outranks us. “With all due respect, sir, that’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.” A lot of people who have been fired used this phrase. It doesn’t always work, evidently…
“I don’t mean that in a bad way.” I got this one from comedian Dom Irrera; he calls it the Italian eraser phrase. Here’s how Dom uses it: “That guy is a lowlife scummy little fat rat weasel… I don’t mean that in a bad way.” See, the eraser phrase makes it okay.
“…but I’m not a bigot.” Often used by bigots to hide the fact that they are indeed bigots. “I can’t stomach dealing with Slobovians, but I’m not a bigot.” Yeah, tell that to the Slobovians…
“God bless him.” This is one of the Christian eraser phrases. It’s used like this, “He’s just not a nice person, God bless him.” It doesn’t have the panache of some of the other ones, but it does feel religious, so people use it.
“I’m only telling you this so you can pray about it…” Ahhh, the most often used Christian eraser phrase. Somehow we think that we can gossip all we want if we use this phrase. “Well, you know he’s committing adultery and his kids are a mess. But I’m only telling you this so you can pray for him.” Truth be told, all a Christian needs to hear is, “He’s having some problems…” and they will get to praying. Anything beyond that is gossip masquerading as a prayer request.
And finally, God has an eraser phrase of his own. I doubt he is real pleased with any of the other ones, but this eraser phrase is close to his heart.
“You are forgiven.” There it is. The ultimate eraser phrase. When God says this, all of your past sins are gone, not to be brought up ever again. The difference between God’s eraser phrase and all the others is that God’s phrase really works. It truly does erase everything that came before it. In fact, it’s already done. God has already forgiven us, all we have to do is accept it. How sad that so many people will walk around with their hearts torn up and burdened, hanging their heads and wondering if their life is really all it is supposed to be. They act happy on the outside, yet inside they know something is missing. They need to apply God’s eraser phrase.
So how do you apply the phrase? A simple prayer that says, “God, I accept your forgiveness. Please make my life yours…” BANG! The eraser phrase gets applied and you are on the road to a better life. It really is that easy. Drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org if you have questions about what’s next. You’re going to love your new life!
Applying God’s eraser phrase to myself… Jerry