Mardi Gras!

Have you ever been to New Orleans? I got there on Fat Tuesday. At first I thought it was a day for men like me, then I found out it was just the last day of Mardi Gras.

It was definitely a sight to see, the smell of marijuana wafted through the air, drunks outnumbered sober people ten to one. Women walked by me with paint on their bodies instead of clothing. I got whacked in the head by a handful of beads thrown from a balcony. People pressed on me from all sides, pushing and shoving so they could see women on the balconies showing body parts of various shapes and sizes. The place was nuts! Continue reading Mardi Gras!

Bill and Helen Brewer

I got in a fight in Bible College. I ran the length of the floor and punched a guy in the eye during a floor hockey game. I was embarrassed and told my grandma about the incident. She looked at me and said, “Did you win?”  That summed up my grandmother.

When the union boys came to take my grandfather for “a walk,” it was my grandmother who made them think twice about coming into the yard. Well, her and her shotgun! When I asked grandma if she would have shot them, she just looked at me and said, “Oh, yeah.” Continue reading Bill and Helen Brewer

A Hole In The Roof

I hosted a meeting for this Jesus guy in my house. He was a really good teacher, so when his followers approached my about using my house, I quickly agreed. It never hurts your status in the town to host somebody up and coming in society, so we set the date.

When the date for the meeting came, I could not believe the crowd that showed up. It quickly filled up my house, then the courtyard, then the street outside. If it wasn’t my house, I wouldn’t have gotten a seat! Continue reading A Hole In The Roof

Poor David!

Poor David.

Everybody tried to put limits on him. It seems like every time he turned around, somebody was selling him short.

While watching his father’s sheep one day, a lion came out of the woods. Surely this little runt of a boy couldn’t stand up to a lion. Of course he could, and don’t call me Shirley. Sorry, old joke. Continue reading Poor David!

Take Off your Earrings!

My wife and I heard a shrill voice screaming, “Why you not whoopin’ on me now? We’re outside…” Lanette and I turned our heads and saw two different groups of teenage girls walking out of the mall. The girl who had shouted was in one group, the girl who evidently had done some whoopin’ earlier was in the other group.

The two girls circled around each other, trading epithets and venom. Their friends alternated between riling them into a frenzy and trying to get them to walk away. For a while it seemed as if cooler heads would prevail. Then one of the girls reached up and removed her hoop earrings. I looked at my wife and said, “It’s on.” Continue reading Take Off your Earrings!

A Sweet Aroma

This morning as I hugged and kissed my wife goodbye, my hands touched her face in a tender moment. It was a sweet way to start the day, and I loved it.

About three hours later I was sitting at my desk, working on some type of paperwork and I rested my face against my hand. Suddenly I got a faint whisper of my wife’s perfume. I was whisked back to this morning, and that sweet embrace. Over the next couple of hours I moved my hand to my face to breathe in the essence of the love of my life. It was just a whiff of perfume, but it reminded me of her, and all that she means to me. Continue reading A Sweet Aroma

From The Archives: Jennifer Greenwald

The score was 3 to 3 going into the seventh inning of a six inning game and my team was coming to bat.  As I headed toward the coach’s box by first base, a mom from the other team asked me, “Don’t you hate games like this?”  I looked at her and said, “I have a whole new perspective on this game tonight.  This is just baseball.”

You see, on my way out the door that night, I got the call that Jennifer Greenwald had been killed in a car accident that afternoon.  I dropped my gear off at the field and headed to the Greenwald house.  Jennifer’s parents, Bob and Lori, are friends of mine.  They are in my Sunday School class, Bob has worked on my cars.  I love them both, and now I was torn up inside for their family. Continue reading From The Archives: Jennifer Greenwald

Waiting…

I’m at the doctor’s office, sitting on the uncomfortable green torture device, I mean table. Or is it a chair? No, couch? Whatever it is, it has a strip of white paper running under my behind to protect the next person from whatever is wrong with me. This sitting apparatus is not exactly made for comfort, and my back is starting to complain.

I started out by waiting in the waiting room. Boy, did they name that place correctly. There was some horrible home show on the TV with some guy blowing a whistle and screaming about auctions. Needless to say, he got on my nerves in about 30 milliseconds. I don’t know why he was blowing the whistle but I already had made plans about what I would do with it if he blew it one more time. I got to hear the conversation of the couple ten feet away, and now I know more about a stranger’s gastrointestinal maladies and trouble with his bathroom functions than I want, or need to. I’m going to file that nugget under, “Things you can’t unhear.” Continue reading Waiting…