God’s Masterpiece

When I was a kid, I was horrible at basketball. In fact, I would have to improve just to be considered lousy. When it came time to choose teams, the captain who was about to get stuck with me would first look up and down the playground, hoping against hope that another potential teammate was approaching—someone’s brother, someone’s sister, even someone’s grandmother. When he was convinced that no one else was coming, he would point at me and say, “OK, I’ll take Godsey…” the way they said “take” clearly implied “stuck with.” Somehow, I didn’t feel chosen. In fact, I had the feeling that if it hadn’t been my ball we were using, I wouldn’t have even gotten to play. Continue reading God’s Masterpiece

Mardi Gras!

Have you ever been to New Orleans? I got there on Fat Tuesday. At first I thought it was a day for men like me, then I found out it was just the last day of Mardi Gras.

It was definitely a sight to see, the smell of marijuana wafted through the air, drunks outnumbered sober people ten to one. Women walked by me with paint on their bodies instead of clothing. I got whacked in the head by a handful of beads thrown from a balcony. People pressed on me from all sides, pushing and shoving so they could see women on the balconies showing body parts of various shapes and sizes. The place was nuts! Continue reading Mardi Gras!

Bill and Helen Brewer

I got in a fight in Bible College. I ran the length of the floor and punched a guy in the eye during a floor hockey game. I was embarrassed and told my grandma about the incident. She looked at me and said, “Did you win?”  That summed up my grandmother.

When the union boys came to take my grandfather for “a walk,” it was my grandmother who made them think twice about coming into the yard. Well, her and her shotgun! When I asked grandma if she would have shot them, she just looked at me and said, “Oh, yeah.” Continue reading Bill and Helen Brewer

A Hole In The Roof

I hosted a meeting for this Jesus guy in my house. He was a really good teacher, so when his followers approached my about using my house, I quickly agreed. It never hurts your status in the town to host somebody up and coming in society, so we set the date.

When the date for the meeting came, I could not believe the crowd that showed up. It quickly filled up my house, then the courtyard, then the street outside. If it wasn’t my house, I wouldn’t have gotten a seat! Continue reading A Hole In The Roof

Poor David!

Poor David.

Everybody tried to put limits on him. It seems like every time he turned around, somebody was selling him short.

While watching his father’s sheep one day, a lion came out of the woods. Surely this little runt of a boy couldn’t stand up to a lion. Of course he could, and don’t call me Shirley. Sorry, old joke. Continue reading Poor David!

Take Off your Earrings!

My wife and I heard a shrill voice screaming, “Why you not whoopin’ on me now? We’re outside…” Lanette and I turned our heads and saw two different groups of teenage girls walking out of the mall. The girl who had shouted was in one group, the girl who evidently had done some whoopin’ earlier was in the other group.

The two girls circled around each other, trading epithets and venom. Their friends alternated between riling them into a frenzy and trying to get them to walk away. For a while it seemed as if cooler heads would prevail. Then one of the girls reached up and removed her hoop earrings. I looked at my wife and said, “It’s on.” Continue reading Take Off your Earrings!