Category Archives: Sports

Posts with sports themes

From The Archives: The Anti-Olympics

I love watching the Olympics. Winter Olympics or Summer Olympics, I love them all. I am awestruck by the dedication of the athletes. I feel their pain when they are injured. I am moved by their tears of joy and sorrow. I am shocked by the fingernails of Gail Devers! Have you seen her fingernails? They defy all of the laws of nature!

While I enjoy the Olympics, they are kind of hard for most of us to relate to. Let’s be honest, not many of us are going to be running a marathon any time soon. I had to run out to the mound for a playoff game three weeks ago and I have parts of me that are still jiggling! I have been working on some events for the rest of us; I’ll call them the Anti-Olympics. Continue reading From The Archives: The Anti-Olympics

Fantasy Football And My Heart

I think my football team is going to shape up pretty well. I’m not crazy about my quarterback, but my running backs and defense are top flight. I think the Desert Sharks are going to be pretty good this year.

I won’t actually be down on a field this year, although I will be in the booth for local high school games. I am going to do the 95.3FM the Edge broadcasts with Todd Evangelist on Friday nights. Todd and I are both football nuts, so the broadcasts should be a lot of fun. So if I won’t be coaching football, what is all this talk about my team? I’m talking about the Third Option Men fantasy football league, of course. Continue reading Fantasy Football And My Heart

The Chaw

We were a bunch of high school kids dreaming of gridiron glory. As freshmen we were at the bottom of the football totem pole. The varsity players looked at us as though someone had breathed life into tree moss. We were the newbies, the punks, the pretenders and poseurs.

The first day of practice we all walked out of the locker room fully dressed in our gear. Then we noticed that the varsity guys carried their stuff out to the field and dressed after calisthenics. The next day, the freshmen all carried their gear out, too. We were just like them. Continue reading The Chaw

Basketball Terminology

If you are like me (and for your sake I hope you are not), you are a big Los Angeles Lakers fan. With the playoffs in full swing, as a service to you loyal readers, I have come up with this year’s “Christian’s Guide to NBA Basketball.” Everything you need to understand basketball (and yourself) is right here in this list.

Basket An implement used to solicit funds from church members. Often passed around the sanctuary by dour looking men who will cough loudly if you don’t put in enough money. Continue reading Basketball Terminology

Football And Self

If you know me at all, you know I love football. I have played, coached and I even announce high school games on the radio. I really enjoy watching pro football. I have three favorite pro teams: The Bears, the Chargers and whoever is playing the Patriots.

This past Sunday was a good day of playoffs for me. The Bears had won their game earlier in the morning, and the Jets were ahead of the Patriots. I was still worried, though. Tom Brady and the Patriots are harder to keep down than a haggis, head cheese and limburger sandwich! So when Shonn Greene of the Jets scored what appeared to be the game-sealing touchdown, I was excited. Then Greene did something really dumb. Using the football like a pillow, he acted like he was taking a nap in the end zone. This is a clear violation of the NFL’s excessive celebration rule, and the Jets were penalized fifteen yards, to be enforced on the following kickoff. What a moron! Continue reading Football And Self

Welcome to Football

Sweat dripped down the center’s arm as he grabbed the ball. He looked straight ahead at the defensive man lined up directly across from him. Not only was the nose tackle ugly, his breath was pretty funky, too! The quarterback began calling out his signals, “Down, set, HUT!” Immediately pandemonium broke out as the center snapped the ball back. The left guard groaned as his upper body locked up with the helmet and shoulder pads of the blitzing linebacker. The right tackle looked up and realized that the man he was to block was going to beat him. In desperation he lunges at the man’s legs, hoping to slow him down and keep him from messing up the play. Continue reading Welcome to Football

The Christian’s Guide To Football

I like football so much, I thought it would be interesting to look at church in football terms.

You would be surprised just how much church can be like a football game.

With that in mind, I humbly submit:

The Christian’s Guide to Football

• QUARTERBACK SNEAK: Church members quietly leaving during the closing prayer. Continue reading The Christian’s Guide To Football