I have been thinking of “eraser phrases.” You know, the things we say when we need to undo something we have said or done. We all know them and even use them. As a service to my loyal readers (and all the rest of you, too) here is “Jerry Godsey’s Handy Dandy Eraser Phrase Guide:”
“Bless his heart.” You can say anything you want about someone as long as you begin the sentence by saying it. Like this, “Bless his heart, he’s dumber than a stump.” See, without the eraser phrase that’s downright mean, but with the eraser phrase it is somehow nicer. Continue reading Eraser Phrases
I was so excited this week when I heard that President Obama rescinded “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell!” Finally, men and women can come right out and profess their love just like others. No more hiding their true feelings or pretending to be something they are not. Nope, they are free to express their true feelings any way they want! Continue reading Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
It was twenty-nine years ago, September 12, 1981, that Lanette Sanford and Jerry Godsey became Mr. and Mrs. Jerry Godsey. Lanette and I have something special. We are not just married; we are best friends. There is not a person on the face of this planet I would rather spend time with than my wife. If she liked (or even tolerated) football, she would be the perfect friend!
I love her more today than I did the day I asked her to marry me. More than the day we were wed. I love her more than the couples do in those syrupy “chick-flicks” that she watches while I am broadcasting high school football games on Fridays. Continue reading A Love Letter to Lanette
The woman walked to her cupboard and pulled out the alabaster box. The box had been in her family for years. It cost a year’s salary, but the precious spikenard fragrance inside was worth every penny. She carefully pulled the bottle from its safe place and held it close to her chest. It may have cost a lot of money, but to her it was priceless.
What she was about to do was so wasteful, so unnecessary, so impractical. It wouldn’t make any sense to anyone who was there, or even heard about it later. She never hesitated, didn’t think twice. She was so consumed with love that no sacrifice would be too high or cost too much. Continue reading The Alabaster Box
When I bought my F-150 SuperCrew pickup, I told people it would be the last pickup I ever bought, and I meant it. It was a great truck, and that is why I had no problems selling it to my son, Critter. I sold my pickup and bought a toaster.
It’s a really nice toaster. It has a lot of room. Looks good, the color is kind of gunmetal. I like it. It doesn’t have a lot of power, but it does the job. As toasters go, I think this is the best one around. Continue reading Toasters
I have come to the realization that some people are not sure if they are Christians or not. So with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy I have come up with this “View From The Pew Guide to Christians.” Or the less official name, “You might be a Christian if…” Follow along and score for yourself. Trust me, there will be a quiz at the end! Continue reading You Might Be A Christian…
It is black with flames in a semi-circle above and below. There is a Boston Terrier in the middle with “Got Bostons?” underneath. It is the same as the sticker on the back window of my truck. It should be, I designed them both. The sticker on my truck is white vinyl. The tattoo on my upper arm is black ink.
The Saturday after Thanksgiving last year I went into Inkredible Tattoo in El Centro and I let René poke my arm repeatedly with a needle. It didn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would, but I wouldn’t call it exactly pleasant. He did an incredible (Inkredible?) job and if I do get another tattoo, he will be the one to do it. What hurt as bad as the needle was the verbal needling I was getting from my wife, Lanette, and my fake daughter, Esli. Esli even Facebooked photos of me getting the tattoo! Continue reading The Tattoo
The dart hanging from my scalp bounced against the back of my head as I chased my brother. There was malice in my heart as I ran through the house as fast as my chubby legs could carry me. If I caught my brother Greg before he got to our mom, he was a dead man.
Let me take you back to a quiet afternoon in the Godsey house: somebody had been stupid enough to give my brothers and I a dart board. Continue reading The Dart Story
I just bought one of my dream vehicles: a 1968 Mustang. Okay, it’s not fully one of my dream vehicles, but it is close.
I have always loved Mustangs. My little brother, Tim, was almost born in one as our neighbor drove my mom to the hospital in his ’67 fastback. All I can remember thinking is, “She better not mess up this car. It’s too nice to get messy…” Even at an early age I was a man of great compassion. Continue reading The New Mustang
Fred is busy. He has work to do, and he gets it done. He goes through his life just fine. He doesn’t think he has any problems, and he doesn’t need any help. His friends have told him there is more than this life, but he’s not buying it. “What more can there be than this,” he thinks to himself. His friends talk about a being that is more powerful, more advanced and totally different.
Fred doesn’t have any use for mysterious beings that are higher than him. He can’t put his hands on it, he has never seen evidence, never touched them, so he doesn’t believe. “If you can prove to me that there is something greater than me, I will believe it. But until I can comprehend it with my mind, until I can figure it out, I refuse to believe it exists.” Continue reading Earthworm Fred