My youngest son turned thirty years old in July. Thirty years old! I never thought that I would live to be thirty years old, let alone have two kids in their thirties! My seventeen-year-old self could not begin to comprehend the 57 year old me.
When I was seventeen I had hair. I even made fun of my uncle, Pastor Bill Brewer, because of his lack of hair. I asked him if he “combed his hair with a washcloth.” He chuckled, but I am sure that a little part of him died. It wasn’t his hair, because he didn’t have any, but something died, I am sure. Little did I know then that my uncle and I would share a hair style. Well, technically, a lack of hair style. Continue reading Getting Old→
I turned on the television Sunday morning and was greeted by horrific news. In the wee hours of the morning, a gunman had killed 50 people at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida. Another 53 were injured, and many of them may not make it.
Pulse is advertised as the hottest gay club in Orlando, and it appears that the motive for the killing may have been homophobia in addition to a devotion to ISIS. The combination led to the senseless loss of lives. Continue reading Orlando…→
The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and it is a beautiful day for a church potluck. I see Mrs. Smith has brought her world-famous, make Colonel Sanders weep, fried chicken.
Somebody else has brought peach cobbler. Oh, I will definitely have some of that after the chicken. On second thought, I might as well eat dessert first, you never know, a meteor could fall and wipe out civilization before I get to it. I don’t want to be stuck scanning the sky for falling space rocks while I eat my fried chicken. Yep, peach cobbler is definitely first.
As I walk down the table full of bountiful delights, a couple of things stick out. Some do-gooder brought a kale salad. Who brings kale salad to a church potluck? I guarantee you that they are going home with almost the same amount of kale salad as they came with. Broccoli! Not broccoli casserole with cheese and ham, not even broccoli in cheese sauce. It’s not even the raw broccoli that you can dip in ranch dressing to give it taste. It’s just, broccoli, steamed and green and lifeless there in a bowl. Blecch. Continue reading The Bible And Church Potlucks→
I can’t believe my wife is getting dressed for church. Church! It’s snowing outside, the fire is going and it is nice and warm in here. What is she thinking?
Knowing I am better off not to even try, I say “Babe, I know you like going to church, and hey, I’m not usually against it, but tonight? It’s Christmas Eve, and it is freezing out there. Can’t you skip church tonight?” Continue reading The Christmas Birds→
Well, it’s that time of year again. As the Thanksgiving turkey was still digesting, Christmas decorations were popping up all over town. Frosty the Snowman made an appearance or two. You see a lot of elves, and Santa is stinking everywhere! For an old fat guy, the dude sure gets around. Being an old fat guy myself, I kind of admire his spunk… Continue reading Uncle Jer’s Christmas Decoration Guide→
A couple of weeks ago somebody sent me a video of a guy named Josh. I won’t give him any publicity by giving you his last name. Trust me, he doesn’t deserve it. Anyway, Josh’s video was all about how Starbucks hates Christmas because they took the snowflakes, poinsettias and Christmas ornaments off of their holiday cups. He angrily, and pretty boastfully, pointed out how he had put one over on Starbucks by giving his name as “Merry Christmas.” When Starbucks called out “Merry Christmas” to give him his order, he pointed out that he had found the loophole in their system and “made them say Merry Christmas.” Congratulations, Sparky, you just made millions of Christians look like morons. I’ve seen two or three of his other videos, and to be honest, I have seen better film on dishwater. Okay, that last bit may have been mean. Continue reading Starbucks Hates Christmas?→
I looked out of the corner of my eye at the table in the back of Remnant. It was a nice table. There was a nice tablecloth, and some flowers. All very nice. Then I saw it. My nemesis, my kryptonite. A chill ran down my back as I was immediately tempted to do wrong. I instinctively began making my way toward it. Slowly I crept, not wanting to make a scene or cause anybody to see what I was doing. Inch by inch, closer and closer. Someone called out to me, and I jerked upright, “Hi, I wasn’t doing anything…” not cool, Jerry, not cool. Continue reading Kryptonite Donuts→