All posts by Jerry Godsey

Critical Incident Stress Management

Even though I am in the ministry, I am not a real “warm and fuzzy” kind of guy. My children ran to their mom when they had “owies.” Their mom would get out the Bactine and Band Aids, kiss them on the forehead and send them on their way. Their dad would say, “Nice trophy, dude!” Not a lot of comfort there, I am afraid.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a very compassionate person. I hurt with the hurting, I can cry with those who are sad. I cried at Old Yeller and during Brian’s Song, but not during Little House on the Prairie. A man has to have limits… Continue reading Critical Incident Stress Management

Wow, God Must Be Ticked!

Wow, God must be really ticked off. Think of all these disasters: the earthquake in Japan, Aids, Hurricane Katrina, earthquakes in China, Haiti, Mexicali and Seeley, and then, most devastating of all, I stepped in some gum the other day and my shoe stuck to Wal Mart’s floor for a whole hour! Gum on my shoe! How does a loving God fit into that?

If you read blogs or listen to certain television hosts it seems that God is really pouring out his wrath lately. Literally, every time there is a natural disaster or plague you can count on Pat Robertson or Pastor Billy Bob Bumpkin of the “Conservative Fundamental Holier Than You Church” in Resume Speed, Oklahoma telling whoever will listen that God is pouring out his wrath for this reason or that reason. And the media listens! You can count on Keith Olbermann naming Pastor Bumpkin the “Worst Person In The World.” You know that the newspapers and cable news shows will cover every inane statement these guys make so they can have something controversial to talk about. Continue reading Wow, God Must Be Ticked!

Suicide

A rope, a gun, a sharp object, prescription meds. These are only some of the ways I have seen people end their lives. In my job as a crime scene investigator I have been to these tragic scenes more often than I wish. The methods they choose are different, but they all have one thing in common: hopelessness.

They have different reasons. Some are in physical pain and can’t go on anymore. Some fear that they will be a burden to family. Some have decided that their life problems are insurmountable. Others do it out of anger, wishing to make those who have hurt them pay. No matter what the motive, they all leave behind pain and suffering. Their pain is over, but for the survivors the pain is just beginning. Continue reading Suicide

Battle Choir

Somewhere in Judah (2 Chronicles 20)…

So let me get this straight. We’re surrounded by three armies. They all want to kill us. They’re on the other side of the hill we’re walking toward, and I am in front?

I’m a singer! I don’t have a sword. I have a songbook. A songbook! What good is that going to do me in the battle? Nothing, zip, zilch, bupkis. Except I know something the Ammonites, Moabites and Meunites… is that even a country? Who ever heard of Meunites? Anyway, I know something they don’t. I know that God has promised to give us the victory. Hey, He even said we wouldn’t have to lift a finger in this battle. Just stand still and watch what God does. Continue reading Battle Choir

Snakes In A Cistern

My co-pastor gets snakes in his water system.

Let me say that again: Snakes in his water system.

He usually doesn’t know the snakes have messed everything up until it is too late. Once he is aware of the snakes, they are already there and have done their damage. Sometimes when you recognize you have a problem you find that the damage is already done. Continue reading Snakes In A Cistern

Thankful For Cheese

I’m sure when my mom planned it out in her head, the scene went something like this: As the candle went from person to person, they would share their innermost thankfulness and weeping would ensue. People all around the room would be so touched that a thanksgiving prayer meeting would break out and thousands would be saved. Yep, I’m almost positive that is what she expected.

There was only one problem. She invited me. And my sons. Bad idea, Mom. Continue reading Thankful For Cheese

Football And Self

If you know me at all, you know I love football. I have played, coached and I even announce high school games on the radio. I really enjoy watching pro football. I have three favorite pro teams: The Bears, the Chargers and whoever is playing the Patriots.

This past Sunday was a good day of playoffs for me. The Bears had won their game earlier in the morning, and the Jets were ahead of the Patriots. I was still worried, though. Tom Brady and the Patriots are harder to keep down than a haggis, head cheese and limburger sandwich! So when Shonn Greene of the Jets scored what appeared to be the game-sealing touchdown, I was excited. Then Greene did something really dumb. Using the football like a pillow, he acted like he was taking a nap in the end zone. This is a clear violation of the NFL’s excessive celebration rule, and the Jets were penalized fifteen yards, to be enforced on the following kickoff. What a moron! Continue reading Football And Self

Welcome to Football

Sweat dripped down the center’s arm as he grabbed the ball. He looked straight ahead at the defensive man lined up directly across from him. Not only was the nose tackle ugly, his breath was pretty funky, too! The quarterback began calling out his signals, “Down, set, HUT!” Immediately pandemonium broke out as the center snapped the ball back. The left guard groaned as his upper body locked up with the helmet and shoulder pads of the blitzing linebacker. The right tackle looked up and realized that the man he was to block was going to beat him. In desperation he lunges at the man’s legs, hoping to slow him down and keep him from messing up the play. Continue reading Welcome to Football

No Hairspray, No Cameras, Just Help

My name is, well my name really isn’t all that important. I’m a nobody, a non-entity, really. I don’t have a job, I am crippled, I have to beg alms for what little sustenance I get. I’m nothing.

Every day my family drags me down to the Sheep Gate and plops me down on the sides of the pool of Bethesda. I’m not just laying around, though. I am waiting for the waters to stir. You see, every time they stir, the first one in the pool gets healed. Of course, I’m never the first one in. Problem is, I can’t move so good, and somebody beats me to the water every time. Maybe one of these days I will be first in the water. Someday. Of course, it hasn’t happened yet, and I have been lying here for thirty-eight years. Maybe tomorrow. Probably not, though… Continue reading No Hairspray, No Cameras, Just Help

Eraser Phrases

I have been thinking of “eraser phrases.” You know, the things we say when we need to undo something we have said or done. We all know them and even use them. As a service to my loyal readers (and all the rest of you, too) here is “Jerry Godsey’s Handy Dandy Eraser Phrase Guide:”

“Bless his heart.” You can say anything you want about someone as long as you begin the sentence by saying it. Like this, “Bless his heart, he’s dumber than a stump.” See, without the eraser phrase that’s downright mean, but with the eraser phrase it is somehow nicer. Continue reading Eraser Phrases